I had a wonderful experience with a young lady in a book shop today, she was browsing between the children and self help sections, which I found curious, so I asked what exactly she was looking for. She replied in a soft voice, “child bereavement books” somewhat taken aback I explained that she would be highly unlikely to find one, she thanked me for trying to help and she kept looking.

I knew I couldn’t leave it there so I helped her look, she then asked a staff member for help and found a bereavement book (which by the way must be one of the worst possible words to put in the title of a self help book). I approached her again and not knowing if the book was for her, and realising her delicate state, explained what I do. I then pointed to the book ‘Get the Life You Want’ by the marvellous Richard Bandler, explained in only a sentence or two that it wasn’t specifically what they’re after but it covers exactly what is needed right now. When I saw the look on her face I knew this was enough – she lit up.

I don’t know if she bought the book, but the thanks she gave and more importantly her renewed glow were amazing. Even more amazing her partner who was with her who had never even looked at me, turned to me and exactly like his partner gave an expression of gratitude which brought them both close to tears of joy.

This really did make my day memorable and amazingly rewarding. All my love to those strangers whoever and wherever they may be x

HEY!

Isn’t the flexibility and impressionable nature of children amazing!

If they don’t know how to react they look around to check how people around are reacting. And yet if adults don’t know how to react we get angry or confused, if only we could have a similar openness to new situations.

I mention this because I went to Alice in Wonderland with some friends and their daughter last night and she saw a monster have its’ eye plucked out and she didn’t know how to react, she saw her mum cringe and she copied and then she turned and noticed me laughing hysterically. She made her choice and imho rightfully deciding that laughing at a cartoon monster losing its eye was a better option than finding it disgusting.

I’m sure she didn’t think about this consciously, but I love the fact that we as humans can approach a new situation and make such a simple choice which makes such a big difference to how much we enjoy ourselves.

Think about when this ability to decide how to react would be of benefit to you, try interrupting your normal reaction and actively make the choice which provides you with the most pleasure and focus.

Warmest regards

Benjamin

It around this time of year that many people have now failed to start or have already given up on New Year resolutions.

This is understandable because there are in my experience and opinion there are two options when making resolutions, which are often forgotten.

For example, two of my resolutions are to 1. Not eat any chocolate all year (with maybe one or two exceptions) and 2. Be able to comfortably bench press 80kg (free-weights) by the end of the year (as well as an array of equally proportionate weight lifting capabilities).

Giving up chocolate was simple for me, although I was certainly obsessed with eating it, as I’ve already given up alcohol and caffeine simply by suddenly deciding to and having the willpower and knowledge that the desire/cravings for such items are simply part of the process of giving up.

For those with no previous experience of just deciding in this way, make your resolution progressive. Start with a small change and increase it slowly. And recognise that each change in the right direction is you reaching for your resolution, your outcome is miles away and you may not read any progress for a long time. As this is the challenge, you must accept it upfront and embrace your resolutions for the eventual gains you will make.

Embrace a better tomorrow today!

Benjamin

Wonderful Seasonal Message from Richard Bandler:

http://www.nlplifetraining.com/xmas09.html

In setting up my new company I meet people with various kinds of depression and a mix of severity of discontent, and an obvious pattern has emerged.

Whether it is what I hear in person or shown through the Google Adwords clicks, depression is, at its foundation, a predominantly weekday phenomenon.

Considering this now, it seems obvious that with all the crap people listen to in many of their day-to-day working lives they would naturally feel worse during the week. And yet I know that these same people won’t realise that they escape from their own downward feelings at the weekend.

What is beautiful about this is that the weekend doesn’t  alter your reality to make yourself happier . The weekend is simply a  time to change the way you internally represent external things and change them for the better. So that you recognise the day-to-day working time is only a small part of the bigger and louder you .

So if  you can unconsciously improve your feelings and internal-dialogue in some way on the weekends, then you naturally have the mental tools to make yourself feel better  during the week. Thus either  you can recognise and utilise this  or you can find someone like myself to access your own strategy and widen its applicability to throughout your life and so  you can feel happier, see brighter prospects and listen for the next great opportunity in your life.

For those of you who haven’t come across Tony Robbins then this is the best introduction to his genius and charisma, and for those of you who do know him, I believe this is also the best summary of his work:

I highly recommend you take a look at Tony Robbins products, his Ultimate Relationship Program being especially powerful.

I really like the  idea of buildings that can heal themselves, quasi-organic building are fascinating and surprisingly close, I wonder what other functions similar technologies could have? I predict this will be an important area of scientific research late this century.

I’ve just seen images of an old school friend of mine being welcomed back to the UK following a tour in Afghanistan.

While he was away I read his comments with interest and noted that they lacked any great conviction for his efforts and were firmly based upon how much he wished to see his fiancée and to have a laugh with his friends.

It strikes me that this is an attitude which seems wonderfully telling. Such thoughts and ideas he expressed were symbolic of the UK’s peoples thoughts on the war in Afghanistan. And we are immensely and correctly supportive of our troops and their efforts.

And yet we question the presence across the world of our bravest men and women and put the blame on our politicians. And while I know this is an unfair assessment, as it is the fault of many decades worth of international conflicts in Afghanistan which have caused such strife, I find myself concentrating on one thing.

When a friend of mine. An ordinary guy in every measure, can survive one of the worst conflicts in the world and throughout maintain a smile in the pictures he sends home. And can then return home happy after seeing and hearing the like of which we cannot grasp, I am reassured.

Whatever ‘hardships’ we go through in our day-to-day lives are in many ways trivial. And members of our armed forces and veterans are those who prove that humans can survive and flourish despite terrible incidents.

So while they signed up to fight for our freedom, our people and our nation, they do even more by inspiring us to work through our hardships and live our lives as well as we possibly can.

One of the fundamental principles of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), as described by Bandler & Grinder, is that ‘The Map is not the Territory’.

Simply put this is the idea that what we represent in our minds is not reality, it is merely our own internal representation of reality, which has come in through our five senses and has been constrained and interpreted by our brains.

SO WHAT?

Well this is a change of perspective: If we already manipulate reality unconsciously into our own personal representation, then we can make changes to it consciously which can make radical changes to our perception of the world, the people around us and situations we find ourselves in.

This is a short light-hearted video explaining such an idea in the context of colour. It is a wonderful metaphor for the concept of ‘The Map is not the Territory’.

Welcome to my blog, here I’ll be listing my thoughts on the world.

As well as many useful links to personal change and development technologies and ideas around the world.

And I’ll keep you up to date on my events and new products and how these will be of benefit to you.

Until next time!

Benjamin Hobbs